One of the toughest issues to deal with for a convert like myself has been appropriate Sabbath observance. And with a growing family, it becomes ever more difficult. I’d like some input from M* readers on what they consider appropriate and inappropriate Sabbath day behavior.
Before we go on, please read the below, in which two modern-day prophets have commented on the issue. The following was taken from this
article in the Ensign.
President Kimball taught how we might observe the Sabbath: “The Sabbath is a day on which to take inventory—to analyze our weaknesses, to confess our sins to our associates and our Lord. It is a day on which to fast in ‘sackcloth and ashes.’ It is a day on which to read good books, a day to contemplate and ponder, … a day to study the scriptures and to prepare sermons, a day to nap and rest and relax, a day to visit the sick, a day to preach the gospel, a day to proselyte, a day to visit quietly with the family and get acquainted with our children, a day for proper courting, a day to do good, a day to drink at the fountain of knowledge and of instruction, a day to seek forgiveness of our sins, a day for the enrichment of our spirit and our soul, a day to restore us to our spiritual stature, a day to partake of the emblems of his sacrifice and atonement, a day to contemplate the glories of the gospel and of the eternal realms, a day to climb high on the upward path toward our Heavenly Father†(Teachings, 216)
President Kimball reviews some excellent suggestions of the Brethren on what types of activities we might consider doing on the Sabbath: “ ‘As we plan our Sunday activities, we may want to set aside time for our family to be together, for personal study and meditation, and for service to others. We might want to read the scriptures, conference reports, and Church publications; study the lives and teachings of the prophets; prepare Church lessons and other Church assignments; write in journals; pray and meditate; write to or visit relatives and friends; write to missionaries; enjoy uplifting music; have family gospel instruction; hold family council meetings; build husband-wife relationships; read with a child; do genealogical research, including the four-generation program and family or personal histories; sing Church hymns; read uplifting literature; develop our appreciation for the cultural arts; plan family home evening study and activities; plan other family activities; friendship nonmembers; fellowship neighbors; visit the sick, the aged, and the lonely; hold interviews with family members’ †(Teachings, 217).
Elder Ezra Taft Benson gave similar counsel:
“—Engage in activities that contribute to greater spirituality.
“—Attend essential Church meetings in the house of prayer.
“—Acquire spiritual knowledge by reading the scriptures, Church history and biographies, and the inspired words of our Church leaders.
“—Rest physically, get acquainted with your family, relate scriptural stories to your children, and bear your testimony to build family unity.
“—Visit the sick and aged shut-ins.
“—Sing the songs of Zion and listen to inspiring music.
“—Pay devotions to the Most High through prayer (personal and family), fasting, administration, and father’s blessings.
“—Prepare food with a singleness of heart: simple meals prepared largely on Saturday.
“—Remember that Sunday is the Lord’s day, a day to do his work.â€
We might also consider what activities do not fit the spirit or purpose of the Sabbath. Elder Benson offered the following suggestions of what to avoid:
“—Overworking and staying up late Saturday so that you are exhausted the next day.
“—Filling the Sabbath so full of extra meetings that there is no time for prayer, meditation, family fellowship, and counseling.
“—Doing gardening and odd jobs around the house.
“—Taking trips to canyons or resorts, visiting friends socially, joy riding, wasting time, and engaging in other amusements. …
“—Engaging in sports and hunting ‘wild animals’ which God made for the use of man only ‘in times of famine and excess of hunger’ (see D&C 89:15). …
“—Reading material that does not contribute to your spiritual uplift.
“—Shopping or supporting with your patronage businesses that operate on Sunday, such as grocery stores, supermarkets, restaurants, and service stations†(Ensign, May 1971, 6–7).
The prophets have made it pretty clear how we should spend our Sabbath days. Obviously, there are gray areas. Personally, I take my kids to the park on Sundays because it is family time that I like to spend with them. In addition, I like to invite other Church members over on Sundays so we can visit because it seems to be the only day that is available. Occasionally, my kids will get bored and we will watch a DVD that is not necessarily spiritually uplifting.
Any tips from M* readers on how to keep children occupied and entertained and still keep the Sabbath day holy? How do you choose where to draw the line for Sabbath day observance?
WHAT A GREAT QUESTION!! THE RESOURCES YOU HAVE LISTED ARE GREAT GUIDELINES. IF AN ACTIVITY HELPS YOU GET CLOSER TO HEAVENLY FATHER, AND IT HELPS YOU BUILD STRONGER FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS, THEN IT IS PROBABLY OK. I THINK ONE OF THE TOUGHEST PARTS OF SABBATH DAY OBSERVANCE IS THE FACT THAT IT IS NOT SPELLED OUT FOR US. THAT BEING THE CASE THERE ARE CHURCH MEMBERS WHO TAKE A GREAT DEAL OF LIBERTY IN EITHER DIRECTION, SOME EXTREMELY LIBERAL, AND OTHERS EXTREMELY CONSERVATIVE. IT IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THAT EACH OF US ARE AT DIFFERENT LEVELS SPIRITUALLY, SO WHAT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL AND ACCEPTABLE FOR ONE PERSON, MAY BE FAR AND AWAY FROM ANOTHER. I THINK THE ISSUE REALLY COMES DOWN TO THE FEW GUIDELINES WE DO HAVE, AND LISTENING TO THE SPIRIT. WE SHOULD BE CAREFUL IN OUR SABBATH DAY OBSERVANCE, BUT NOT TO THE POINT OF BECOMING SCRIBES AND PHARISEES.
AS FOR YOUR CHILDREN, REMEMBER THEY ARE KIDS. TEACH THEM BY EXAMPLE, BUT DO NOT EXPECT PERFECTION. THEY ARE GROWING LINE-UPON-LINE IN THE GOSPEL JUST LIKE YOU DID WHEN YOU WERE FIRST BAPTIZED. I WOULD VENTURE A GUESS THAT THE LONGER YOU HAVE BEEN A MEMBER, YOU HAVE BEEN ABLE TO MORE EASILY DISTINGUISH BETWEEN APPROPRIATE AND IN-APPROPRIATE SABBATH ACTIVITIES. AS THEY SEE YOU DO YOUR BEST TO OBSERVE THE SABBATH, THEY WILL REALIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF DOING THE SAME.
Dan B, I loved your comment. Thanks for your thoughts. In the future, do you think you could avoid capitalizing your entire comment? I find all caps to be a bit difficult to read and distracting, and in the internet world there are some people who feel all caps is “shouting.”
Inappropriate: Making huge meals and/or cleaning the dishes up from huge meals.
Appropriate: Eating something you prepared the night before.
Geoff,
I posted my thoughts about this at BCC ages ago. In short, I think the Saviour’s statement is all we need: “man was not made for the Sabbath, but the Sabbath was made for man.” Therefore, if your Sabbath is refreshing your soul and doing good for the world, I say it’s a good Sabbath. You don’t need a list of do’s and don’ts.
Oh, and REST!
GEOFF B, GIVE THE GUY A BREAK. BACK IN MY DAY, WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE, ALL WE HAD WERE CLANKETY OLD TELETYPES PRINTING OUT AT 110 BAUD, OR 10 CHARACTERS PER SECOND. YUP, A LOT OF TREES DIED TO MAKE ALL THAT TELETYPE PAPER WE USED PLAYING STAR-TREK, ADVENTURE, AND BLATHERING AWAY IN CHAT ROOMS ON DTSS.
“YOU ARE STANDING BESIDE A SMALL BRICK BUILDING AT THE END OF A ROAD FROM THE NORTH. A RIVER FLOWS SOUTH. TO THE NORTH IS OPEN COUNTRY AND ALL AROUND IS A DENSE FOREST. WHAT NOW?”
Bookslinger, do you think he’s connected to M* via teletype? Cool! Yeah, I remember those. It could also be he’s on a keyboard that can only do all-caps. So, Dan B, cap away, especially if you’re on a teletype!
Bah, my teletype machine did caps.
But all caps is hard to read. On par with the all white text on a black background that some blogs do.
Sabbath stuff is my weakness. For instance on Sunday I filled up the car with gas because I wasn’t able to Saturday. I’ve even run to Smith’s a few times when we were missing something for a dinner for guests. And, I must confess, that when Conner is napping I take advantage of the silence to play a violent video game for an hour or so. Probably none are good activities and I’m sure I could do better preparing on Saturday for Sunday.
I also really like that Geoff brought up positive things we could be doing. I suspect many of us do our home teaching on Sundays, but there really are a lot more things one could do. My family when growing up used to make a point of inviting people in the ward who were new or perhaps not socialized with enough over for dinner. I think it was a very good thing to do and very helpful as well. I’ve wanted to do that, but I’ve found with very young kids it’s a tad more challenging than I expected. We’ve invited people over, but it’s just much harder than I thought.
One other quick thought regarding the Service Station bit from 1971. In this day and age where they are all automated and no one ever goes into the store, is it still the same situation?
I apologize for the all-caps. I’m at my office and the database we use only accepts caps, just becomes a habit to leave it on.
Seeing Dan B. is here, I’m glad I chose the moniker “danithew” …
#5 xyzzy!
I am not perfect in sabbath day observance, no doubt, but perhaps we can do better than what has been said. Ronan said if it is good for the world or refreshing then do it. I am not sure, but I would suggest that the world needs less of your time on the sabbath and more should be given to the Lord. However, refreshing is probably on the right track, but I would suggest that it be spiritually refreshing and not necessarily physically refreshing. You say that you go to the park to have time with your kids – but are you actually playing with them or just letting them have a good time? Too often I think we cop out on the “family” idea provided by the prophets and say “oh, the kids would love to do ___”, does this mean it is a good family activity? Not that it is bad, but I wonder if we could do better. What if instead of playing at the park we took our kids to some assisted living place and visited those who would value our visit all the while teaching our children of charity, compassion, and good works through real life experience and example. Or what if together, as a family, we created a meal for a family who missed church due to sickness, no matter if it be a large meal or not, you are doing it to bless the lives of others.
Or what if instead of watching some good, yet spiritually void DVD was put in place with a spiritually uplifting DVD (our kids love the Savior of the World production put on by the church during the 2002 Winter Olympics, a DVD with about two hours of excellent uplifting songs and inspired works). If they (the kids) are bored, we too often give into our own carnal desires and give them what they want rather than what they need because we are too concerned about our own well being rather than theirs. How often do you put on that good Disney DVD because it will shut them up for a couple of hours so you can get in some good scripture study or shut eye? (Guilty as charged!)
But if we truly wanted to get something out of the Sabbath, we would put more thought into it.
One last thing of which people may ridicule me as has been done in the past, but I truly say it is amazing if followed. During the college years I opted to try to live the Sabbath day better by not doing schoolwork on that day. I just scheduled my school work around that day. Even if I was behind in my studies or had a test on Monday, I vowed to study as though Saturday was the day before the test or that there was no more time after Saturday was over. That was the best decision of my college career. It truly made the sabbath day a day of rest. While others at church would talk about having to rush home to study for the test the next day, I had the great ability to go and spend time that day with the family to things that were uplifting to all of us. When Sunday morning came around, I always felt a peace in me becuase I never worried about what was needed for school on that day. Perhaps a bit too far for some, but I have a testimony that it worked.
As for the inviting ward members (new or old) over for dinner, I think I will institute that starting next week. Maybe we will start with once a month or so and see if we need to increase the frequency, thanks for the idea.
Appropriate Sabbath activities? Here’s what my upcoming Sabbath looks like:
4:45 Get up, shower, dress, eat something
5:45 Arrive at Stake Center to prepare room for Stake PEC
6:30 Stake PEC meeting
8:00 Ward Choir, since I’m here already anyway
9:00 Home ward meets, attend with family
12:00 go to Kitchen, eat lunch I brought with
13:00 accompany Stake President to Branch Conference in the Stake’s Spanish Branch (I don’t speak Spanish)
16:00 hangout for 30 minutes
16:30 join wife to rehearse with interfaith choir our ward has created as a community outreach
17:30 head home
18:00 serve and eat dinner (put together in the crockpot Saturday night and stored in fridge, wife plugs in just before leaving for church)
19:00 Family Home Evening (Sunday night works better for our family)
20:30 storytime for son
21:00 bedtime for son
So, where do I fit “appropriate” Sabbath activities in? I haven’t had time to speak to my wife, let alone any of the things on Pres. Benson’s list. I suppose a busy schedule like this means I’m not tempted by inappropriate activities either. Still, you be amazed at the number of Mondays I take a day off each year just to catch up and relax.
I need a day of rest from my Day of Rest.
Chad Too, when I was in the bishopric, our bishop used to joke that we were Jewish because our day of rest was Saturday, not Sunday. Nathan (#11), you make some great suggestions and comments. Thanks for your input.
Growing up, my parents only allowed church movies on Sundays. In my own family, my toddlers won’t sit through church movies so we usually watch our family movies. It’s a great way to remember the fun we had. My pre-school-aged daughter also likes to watch little videos her aunts and uncles have made, which helps her feel closer to them even though she doesn’t see them often.
My biggest grey area is browsing on-line shopping sites on Sunday. I try to avoid it, but it is so tempting. In theory, nobody’s working, but it violates the spirit of the law.
One nice thing about PVRs, which are becoming common, is that you can program them to record all your Sunday shows and then watch them later.
I must confess though that I do all my This Old House and New Yankee Workshop watching on Sunday afternoons…
It’s odd how rules grow out of customs–the distinctions we draw sometimes must seem as unreasonable to outsiders as some of the Pharisees hedge around the law.
For me:
Shopping: Absolutely not. Except gas and meals if traveling out of town. Or buying a Metrocard for the subway. And, no internet shopping.
Housework: None. Except for cooking/cleaning up. And emergencies, which were more common when the children were small.
Church leadership meetings: (PEC, Presidency, etc.) None if I’m in a position to make or influence scheduling. See the First Presidency statement at the time the meeting schedule was announced. (1979 or thereabouts.)
Big meals: What’s a big meal? If the whole family can participate in fixing/cleaning up, it’s good family time.
Outside entertainment: Not if you have to pay for it.
Reading: Yep. Lots of it.
Naps: Rarely. Would like them more often.
Nathan,
I adopted the no-schoolwork-on-Sunday habit in high school, and kept it through college. I wasn’t always very good about it, but when I was I did notice a difference. That could be because I was less stressed because I hadn’t procrastinated, or it could be a blessing of observing the Sabbath, or it could be both at the same time.
Along those same lines I had a seminary teacher who encouraged us to do our daily scripture study before we started on our school work. He attributed his good college grades in part to this practice. I liked the idea as symbollic and literal way of putting Christ first.
what a great topic!!
I want to backup what Nathan has said, and thank him for his witness on this subject, about not doing homework on Sunday! I have a very strong testimony of this as there are times when my marks soared because I worshipped properly on the Sabbath!! It’s not as if God could not reveal the truths you need to know in any event if we are doing his work first and if you are cramped for time during the rest of the week, then why cram anyways?!
As for my family, we do not go out except to Family on the Sabbath after church — too many distractions otherwise for my children and also becomes completely irreverant to say the least! I definitely take time for a nap, it is perhaps the best time of the week and I feel that much better for it when Monday comes. We allow appropriate movies for the kids and also video games for them as they do need to do something else than just stay ‘quiet’ while I nap — haha!! My main focus with the children is that they learn that it is a day of rest and quiet time to prepare for the week to come. With all that goes on during the week, they need some ‘downtime’ and what a better way than go to church and then rest.
We usually eat a family meal together. I do my HT’ing as much as possible on Sunday evenings as rest of week is very busy wth other fam acitivities and not trying to be out too much.
Here is a typical Sunday:
B/Ric: 7:15am
PEC, etc: 8:15am
Pickup Family: 9am
Block meetings: 9:30am-12:30pm
Post church acts: 12:30pm-2pm
Nap: 2:30…
Visits, meetings, etc: 7pm…
Sunday are always busy but I never find them regretful and always find them useful no matter how tiring the day is.
My Sunday schedule:
7:00AM: Get up, shower, eat breakfast
9:00AM – 12:00PM: attend three hours of church with family
12:30PM: home, eat lunch
1:00PM – 5:00PM: watch first session of Church of the NFL on TV with family
5:30PM: eat dinner
6:00PM – 9:00PM: watch second session of Church of the NFL on TV with family
10:00PM: go to bed
Mr. Montana,
what a productive Sunday that is, but when the only day of the week to watch football occurs on the Sabbath, then it is probably alright to not keep it holy!! There are always good mortal reasons to not do the right thing!!
What if you’re watching the Saints?
Tim, are you talking about watching Saints like Todd Heap, Doug Jolley, Itula Mili, Kevin Kurtis, John Tate, Reno Mahe, etc.? I call that fellowshipping. How else am I going to know how brother Heap is doing?
I’m radically liberal on Sabbath observance. For example, I’m with Bro. Montana, in that I watch football on Sunday. When I was a boy I used to watch games with my Dad, and I have very fond memories of that. I don’t bother trying to convince anyone else it’s a right or good thing to do, or to rationalize it, I just do it.
Football is ok on Sunday, but the catch is that you must watch in on KSL.
There have been times when I’ve turned on the local football game (Dolphins for me) for a half-hour on Sunday. I haven’t watched an entire game since I was baptized six years ago. I’m not going to judge anybody who watches football on Sundays — it’s really between you and Heavenly Father as to whether you can justify it.
On a more serious note. I have a very liberal view of what can be done on Sunday. I feel that any activity that is a family based activity that doesn’t require someone else to break the Sabath (i.e. go out to eat and making someone work), is pretty much ok. If you want to play touch football with your kids, I think that is great. If you want to go hiking with your spouse, have a picnic in the canyon, or some other similar family activity, I say go ahead. I read what President Benson said, and I honestly disagree, about the going to canyons part. Devote the day to worship and family building and you’ll do just fine.
You can watch football on Sunday if, but only if,
(1) there is a Mormon involved–team, coaching staff, officials; and
(2) you watch it with the sound off.
I actually think that football is better than watching many other programs found in the evening on the Sabbath. Generally speaking, sports are much better programs to watch than most of todays sitcoms or dramas.
Concerning the schoolwork on Sundays thing. It didn’t matter if I procrastinated or not (of which I did my fair share) but Sunday was Sunday and whether I was ready or not, it mattered not. As far as my schoolwork was concerned, I went to bed on Saturday night and woke up Monday morning as though it was the next day. The whole philosophy behind that made the Sabbath much more of a day of rest. A day I looked forward to each week!
Geoff, I think those who are converted after later in life have a leg up on the rest of us. You probably see things in a different light than the rest of us who grew up in the church, stuck in the traditions of our fathers. The trick for the rest of us is to realize that we may have learned Sabbath traditions that move us farther away from the Lord.
Go Kevin Kurtis!!
I’ll add to the points about not working on Sunday. Not only is this a good way to observe the Sabbath, but it also serves as a respite from the world and creates missionary opportunities among those who seem puzzled that you’re not working on Sunday.
i guess football on Sunday’s is justified afterall, thank goodness for mortal reasons for not doing the right thing, bah!
As for watching the ‘Saints’, that is in and of itself a curse, and so that would be breaking the Sabbath no matter the number of Mormons, and also they are not ‘Latter-day Saints’, or at least not any I know of on the Saints (please clarify if there are). ha!
A couple of Conferences ago, Elder Holland pointed out that each succeeding generation seems to take sacred things a little less seriously than the previous ones. The Sabbath is a good example of that. It used to be “the Holy Ssabbath”, then “the Sabbath”, followed by “Sunday”, and now it is just part of “the weekend.”
I admit I am much more casual about keeping the Sabbath day holy than my parents were. My Sundays are much more like a Sabbath when I really work at it, but sometimes it is just one more day off from work. My weeks go better when I treat it like the Sabbath, but it remains a struggle.