Davis’ post on singles wards reminded me of a tale – a tale involving the summer I attended the local singles ward. This is a tale of why I am going to hell. Or the telestial kingdom. Whatever.
I was either 20 or 21. My sister, 2 years younger, also decided to join me in attending that ward. We clung to each other, observing the bizarre culture that makes up the singles ward, mocking it and discussing the insanity. The mocking isn’t why I’m going to hell. I mean, sure, it probably plays a role, but it’s not the big one.
Apparently it was obvious that we clung to each other, because instead of being treated like two people, we were treated like one. We found this annoying. I mean, we really don’t even look that much alike. When we were summoned by someone in the bishopric, they met with us together to offer us a calling. Together.
The munch and mingle committee.
Now, I’m an introvert. (The best article ever on introverts is from The Atlantic. Read it. It’s funny and so very accurate.) Giving an introvert a calling like that is a Very Bad Idea. My sister, also a bit of an introvert, pretty much felt the same way. In the two and a half months we had the calling (they knew we were short-timers when they gave us the calling) we performed our duties with lackluster zeal and apathy. We hated it. This is also not the reason I’m going to hell (but again, I’m sure it plays a role).
No, the reason I am going to hell is because of the setting apart. I was very surprised they would actually set someone apart for the munch and mingle committee. It just seemed almost sacrilegious in its fluffiness. But we went when and where we were told. Several other people were also being set apart, and they were all normal, serious callings. First was the girl getting the calling as Relief Society teacher. I was in a giggly mood, probably because I just couldn’t get over the term “munch and mingle†when used in a priesthood blessing, and the incongruence of the term and the circumstance was overwhelming. I dug my nails into my hands and bit my lip as hard as I could in an attempt to stifle the giggles.
Then came my turn. I sat in the middle chair, and the bishopric person who was doing the setting apart began. I was biting and digging so hard that the skin was starting to break. I was shaking from trying to stifle the giggles. I mean, how can you say “munch and mingle†in a priesthood blessing without bringing an end to civilization? I mostly succeeded in suppressing the giggles. Mostly. I thought I was going to die. My sister was then set apart, and we fled without remaining for the rest of the settings apart.
That is why I am going to hell: giggling while being set apart.
But it was funny…
During my patriarchal blessing, the patriarch let out a long… um.. how shall we say it politely? I think you know what I mean.
It was hard not to supress that giggle, too.
Very funny, Tanya.
Meems, is that incident reflected on the written version of the blessing?
Heh. No, it was “passed” over…
That was a great article, Tanya. It took me a long time to figure out there was nothing wrong with me–I’m just an introvert.
A couple millenia ago, five of us were waiting to be set apart in our new Young Adult callings. For some reason, the brother who would perform them looked at one of the young women in the group and told her, “We’ll do you last.” I kidded her, “That’s because they’re going to save the longest for last.” She came right back with, “Why, so I’ll be set farther apart?” I still have no response.
It reminds me of a time my husband and I received callings to be in the ward choir….
Tanya, I think you will be okay after an act of contrition of two. 🙂
That calling really is a good one for the introverted in my opinion. I look at my years as an Young Adult Rep as the years of normal socialization that I missed out during my teen years going to an all girl’s school and shunning the party scene. I had a lot of fun planning activities and also giving an occassional lesson.
Barb, no, I’m still going to have to say it’s a bad calling for an introvert. I mean, an introvert just doesn’t see the point. We’ve just spent 3 hours socializing at church. Why on earth would we then want to spend another half hour making small talk (a pointless activity) with a whole bunch people that you’ve already spent the afternoon chatting with? It’s just not worth it for the cookies and punch. Thus, the pointlessness of it all (from an introvert’s point of view) makes it a bad calling.
Tanya, I guess I must not be a true introvert, after all. Once I came out of my shell, I rather liked the social scene. Small talk–I love it! I even love having small talk about small talk.
Ask me to speak to someone in a position of authority, then I will run for cover! I get nervous around authority figures and find myself so drained after talking to them. I just hate being around anybody with any power over me even if they are going out of their way to be cordial with me.
Maybe you were shy. There’s a difference between introversion and shyness. I happen to be both an introvert and shy, though my mission did a lot to help me overcome my shyness (though shyness is a thing to overcome, I don’t see introversion as a thing to overcome at all). It’s definitely possible to be both and extrovert and shy, and you sound like an extrovert to me. That’s okay. Extroverts are good people, too 😉
Indeed, for some people shyness is their El Guapo.
I tried to go to a Spanish/English dictionary and then a French/English dictionary to find out what El Guapo means. It was not in either.
I put the word in a search engine though and seemed to get some sort of reference to the Red Socks.
There was a reference to the Three Amigos Movie and it said that El Guapo means the “Handsome One” or “Ladies Man.”
So I guess I am single because my shyness is my handsome one? Yikes, I am sure that is not meant to be a literal interpretation. :-\
Tanya, that is actually pretty funny for me to think of myself as an extrovert. I would have never stood all these years of isolation were I not an introvert. I do have some tendencies towards being an extrovert but am to the greatest degree an introvert.