The harsh reality of temple clothing measurements

The temple is the real world, and the real world is fantasy. How do I know?

My waist measures 35 inches. If I rent clothing at the temple, I do not fit into a 34-inch waist. I need to rent a 36-inch waist, which will fit well.

We are about to do our Christmas pictures, and my wife bought me some new trousers. She bought me a 33-inch waist. I said: “no way will they fit — I need a 35.” She said: “well, try them on.” I tried them on, and they fit perfectly.

So, in the real world, clothing manufacturers create a fantasy. That fantasy is that you can get older and fatter and still wear the same size clothing. The last time I was really a 33-inch waist was in college 25 years ago.

In the temple, the fantasy ends. You must face the reality of your expanding waist-line. Truth will prevail.

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About Geoff B.

Geoff B graduated from Stanford University (class of 1985) and worked in journalism for several years until about 1992, when he took up his second career in telecommunications sales. He has held many callings in the Church, but his favorite calling is father and husband. Geoff is active in martial arts and loves hiking and skiing. Geoff has five children and lives in Colorado.

9 thoughts on “The harsh reality of temple clothing measurements

  1. Unfortunately, the church’s sizing policy creates people for anyone younger who thinks they’re a 34 and finds out that the church’s clothing won’t fit…

    This is one area where the church needs to conform to the world.

  2. So true! I rented a 32 at the temple a few weeks ago and, being rushed for time, stuffed my gut in for the duration of the session. Undoing the buttons at the end was like popping open a can of pillsbury dough.

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  4. I’ve always figured temple clothes are shrunk like crazy because they’ve been washed bunches of time in super hot water. I’ve never put on a pair that fit comfortably and I’m not asking for a bigger size!

  5. I think men’s pants are cut large so the hip-hop guys have an excuse for wearing them low. ‘I can’t help it, officer. I have a 35″ waist and these pants were marked as 35.’

    I’ve found that much variation in cheap versions of foreign-made clothing is just due to sloppiness/error in the factory, even in the same brand/model/size of an item.

    I no longer try on clothes until they are washed. Once I find a brand/model that fits (eg, Dickies), I buy the same thing. If I guess wrong and it doesn’t fit, it goes to Goodwill.

    Unless it’s a consistent brand I trust, like Dickies, I generally never pay more than $12 ea for pants or shirts.

    I had one too many cases of picking up some creepy-crawly living in clothes, like fleas in a sweater at a yard sale once. Last time I tried on a pair of pants at K-mart, I thought: “Why is my butt itching all of a sudden? ”

    Hmmm, not a good segue or tangent, but I hope that brings someone a laugh.

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