Have you ever noticed that the only reason to trust in the Lord is that it’s all going to work out great for you in the end? That’s the way the doctrine is generally taught, at least. And it’s true, taking the long view. But I’m not sure it’s very helpful to jump into such a commitment with so blithe an assurance of the happy times just around the bend.
One of the things the movie version of The Work and the Glory does very effectively is illustrate how very painful life must have been for Joseph Smith in the years after his life-shaking first revelation. Yes, we know he was mocked and laughed at, even stalked and beaten up some, but we rarely consider that that must have caused him some very real pain. He was not only a prophet, but a nice little kid, hoping to make it in the world, hoping to earn some respect in his little town, hoping to get good paying jobs and present a respectable face to a prospective father-in-law someday. He probably wanted friends, probably hated being the butt of jokes. I wonder if desires for esteem are what led him to his period of “many foolish errors” and “divers temptations.” Joseph’s personal hopes– things you and I take for granted but hold very dearly– were stripped from him for the most part in those early years. Don’t miss the fact that in the ecstasy of so holy a calling, there must have been many very sad, lonely nights for a scrawny teen to deal with.
I felt real pangs for Joseph while watching an actor portraying some of the scenes of his marginalization. The other thing I admit to feeling was that it was sort of mean of God to put him in that situation. It was a strange conclusion, all heart and no head, but I’ve pondered that thought frequently since then.
The issues become more pertinent as I’ve rammed up against a moment of my own where I am called to decide whether I’ll give in to the will of God or not. I find that despite my general commitment to Christ, my commitment still doesn’t reach the level required– of abandoning my own will and just handing it over to him. Against this backdrop, it is quite striking to read these words:
Behold, they do not desire that the Lord their God, who hath created them, should rule and reign over them; notwithstanding his great goodness and mercy towards them, they do set at naught his counsels, and they will not that he should be their guide.
I admit that it’s hard to want to let God be my guide. I love his input and advice, but I really want the drivers’ seat myself. Part of my stubbornness might have to do with what I’ve seen him do with others, like Joseph Smith. I’m fully aware that Joseph has gained eternal glory for his pains. But how can I convince myself that I’d do the same for the same reward? Frankly, it’s not easy.
I note, as well, what Jesus was asked to do. The best example of submission to God is also the being who suffered most on this earth, by an infinite margin. Even in Jesus’ instance, the submission and sacrifice all worked to his own eventual glory. But, oh, how hard the road.
Even with the resulting reward, could Jesus have gone through with it if motivated only by the palaces prepared for him? At the height of his sacrifice, would Joseph have offered himself on the altar just to assure that things would turn out right for him?
If not, why do we try to motivate ourselves to submit to the Lord because we’ll always end up better off?
Abinadi tells us that the will of the Son was swallowed up in the will of the Father. We tend to exult in this metaphor without paying heed to how scary the imagery is. When I pause over its meaning, the phrase ‘swallowed up’ makes me quite claustrophobic and even slightly fearful.
But as I’ve learned more about myself, I’ve not only learned how resistant to this complete surrender I am. I’ve also learned that it’s the only way to achieve what I need to. Without turning it all over to God, I’m going to fall short, having already done so many times. So that leaves me with a simple choice, fraught with peril.
Considering my choice, I think back to the other great scriptural image of being swallowed. Yes, Jonah is the key archetype in my own drama. And I find his story quite instructive about my alternatives. Ultimately, Jonah never had a choice about being swallowed. He had to be subsumed by some force, be it good or evil. By rejecting the divine subjugation that is discipleship, he had made up his bed– and it was in the belly of a beast.
But the truly important point to notice is that Jonah’s choice wasn’t between two equal surrenders. While we may phrase it sloppily sometimes, God never asks us to let ourselves be swallowed up in his will, just as he never asked this of Jesus. He asks only that our wills be swallowed up. This stands as a very attractive alternative to having one’s entire being swallowed up, as Jonah was by the whale.
What does this story teach us then? That we can either submit our wills, our agency, to the Lord while remaining wholly ourselves, individuality and personality intact, or we can brave the tempest-tossed sea on our own, and surely be swallowed up whole.
It’s important that the scriptures tell how Jesus has earned the right to swallow up my will in his. It’s not the first cup he’s drunk, and not the most bitter. Hear Isaiah:
He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces.”
Jesus swallowed up the sting of death. There’s hardly any room left on the altar next to that.
I conclude that this is a painful process for all involved, from the beginning. It’s messy and full of sacrifice. But it’s also silly to think only of how much it’s going to hurt me. The key to letting my will be swallowed up in his is to remember that’s he’s already drunk agony on my account. To accept that my ransom was paid, but remain captive, is not only foolish for me, but terrifically demeaning to that great sufferer of sins. Perhaps if I see reasons larger than myself as justifying the pain of surrender, I can remain committed to this decision even when I don’t feel the promise of happy endings being fulfilled.
But in those times, I am promised another aid to support my devotion. “Yea, and he also gave them strength, that they should suffer no manner of afflictions, save it were swallowed up in the joy of Christ.”
It’s hard to accept that God has not promised to save me from pain, a promise he also did not offer to Joseph, nor even to his Beloved Son. But Jesus only asks that I let my will be swallowed because he swallowed death itself, a far greater sacrifice than mine. And the result is that my afflictions will be swallowed as well, in his pure joy. I think that’s enough to make me take the plunge.
This is a wonderful post, Ryan. Thanks.
The hardest part of all of this, for me, is to determine what God wants me to do in the first place. I think once we KNOW (beyond a shadow of a doubt, with every fiber of my being, etc.) that God has asked us personally to do something, this knowledge actually becomes a great strength and comfort to sustain us through trials and tribulations. Too often, we don’t do the work it takes for us to know God’s will, so we become lost and confused when we have to deal with the ups and downs of living out our lives.
Or maybe it’s more about committment and follow-through. Maybe people really DO know God’s will for them, but they don’t want to do it (i.e., Jonah). I find this proposition difficult, though. Kind of like getting to the Spirit World, being taught the gospel and still rejecting it. But maybe we’ll have just as many distractions there in the Spirit World to contend with as we do down here.
Anyway, thanks for this thought-provoking post, Ryan.
I think it’s a good time to paraphrase Joseph Smith who said nobody can advance and improve themselves without suffering. The only way to do that is to let your will be swallowed up by God’s. I think Brigham Young also said that he tries to tell himself that by suffering he is advancing, so perhaps he should look forward to the suffering because the advancement comes afterwards.
Avraham Gileadi has spotted a cycle of suffering and abasement followed by exaltation that exists throughout the Old Testament scriptures.
I believe in this cycle of suffering, learning and advancement with all my heart. Ryan, thanks for reminding me of the Savior, who as our model has done it more fully than we can ever imagine.
Yes, this is a good post. I think Joseph was the man for the job.
That is one of the things that keeps me going when times get tough for me spiritually. I think how he never quit and also how he didn’t gain from anything. So he was either crazy or a prophet. I choose to believe he was a prophet.
And some are saying the bloggernacle isn’t positive, uplifting and inspiring? Well here you go. Thanks, Ryan, for a most edifying post.
Ryan, Great Post!! I have had similar thoughts but can’t express them as well as you do.
Elisabeth added some great insights too, thanks.
You have both brought an interesting question to my mind than I need to ponder….maybe I’ll post on it later, I don’t want to take away from your message and the spirit of your remarks….thanks again, posts like this make blogging worthwhile.
Thanks, Ryan, for this post. I have approached life at times simply as an opportunity to pursue dreams. “Consider all the possibilities!” is the basic thought, and “What should I pursue?” There is optimism and adventure in thinking this way that I hope I haven’t completely lost.
But when certain dreams have not materialized, I have wondered whether I was pursuing the wrong thing in the first place, or whether my faith or effort failed me, and so on. In the rabbit hole of this kind of questioning, the doctrine of prayer and scriptural promises about how prayers are answered are difficult for me to understand. And it is tempting to think: Why doesn’t God want me to achieve my dreams? I am a good person! And much more: I am a member of the Kingdom; the only true church on the face of the earth! The world is full of people, even some (I suppose) who are not good, let alone members of his kingdom. And God has given to them some of the exact things I want!
I am ashamed of ever thinking this way. It is foolish and vain. Particularly considering Joseph Smith and many others (even many of my own ancestors) whose lives were not spent pursuing their “dreams.” On the contrary, their lives were harrowing exercises in sacrifice, going from one painful challenge to the next, never enjoying the wealth or comfort or general approval that I think everyone longs for, but being repeatedly, in the words of your post, “swallowed up.”
The thing about the story of Jonah that is so compelling to me is the sense of God’s inevitability. I can submit and suffer and expect a great reward. Or I can resist and suffer and expect an award, but one diminished. In either scenario there is suffering, but not the same kind. I submit that relinquishing one’s will to God is painful, but that doing so brings a form of rest and peace. Perhaps this is what these words of the Savior mean: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
Ryan, I want to ask if I can use your opening for a sacrament talk on Sunday. It hits right on the money with what I need…
fracasar at yahoo dot com.
Elisabeth, I think your concern about understanding God’s will is pertinent, but I also think it’s secondary and subordinate. I feel that same as you do– that it’s often a difficult matter to know exactly what God wants us to be doing at any particular moment. But my feeling is that that knowledge might come a lot more quickly once we’ve already made the ultimate commitment to him. In other words, once God is truly convinced that I’m wholly devoted to letting him do with my life whatever he wants to, I think there’s a good chance he’ll make his will very clear, whether by telling me what to do (less likely), or by simply writing the script himself via changing circumstances and plot developments in my life. That’s speculative, I know, but I’ve seen something like that played out in others’ lives. What do you think of this idea– that we need to commit to his will with everything we have, before we can really know what it is?
Don, I’ll be interested to see your post.
Shawn, great thoughts. I particularly like your idea that we suffer under either choice, but that the suffering we undergo under Jesus’ hand is always for a purpose, tempered with direction and progress, and the salve of inner peace. As for dreams deferred, the pioneers, and many of the early Saints are great examples. Again, we gloss over their suffering too lightly. Yes, it’s one thing to credit them for hardship in crossing the plains. But we also need to remember the dreams they surely gave up– the real estate they had such high hopes for, the houses they built with such sacrifices, the family relationships they let go. Amazing how much God is ready to ask of his people when he knows they need to sacrifice.
Elisabeth: as far as knowing what God wants me to do (and I think this dovetails with my dream-chasing mentioned above), I have taken the approach that when God doesn’t tell me “no” (either through scriptures, living prophets, or something more personal), I am free to pursue what I want. This raises the question: what can I deduce from my desire to pursue a particular thing in the first place? Is this feeling an echo from my pre-mortal experience of longing to fulfill my calling in life? Is it the natural man longing to consume my efforts on its lusts? Or something else entirely?
Of course, as Ryan notes, there are innumerable ways in which God may have set the playing field—or may change it at any moment—to direct one’s path. Thus, when circumstances in life change, another question becomes: is this an obstacle or setback God wants me to overcome? Or is he clobbering me over the head: “Shawn, you are on the wrong path, buddy! Give it up!”
To be perfectly honest, I find this entire situation rather upsetting. I wind up chasing things that I am not permitted to have in the end, or that I learn I really didn’t want in the first place, and so on. Sure, I may be learning patience, and humility–lot’s of humility–but it hurts. My natural impluse: I want to short-circuit this entire process. Please God, just tell me right now how it will all unfold! I don’t want to waste any more days on troublesome detours. Let’s identify my purpose already!
One more thought: Interestingly, I once had a conversation with an extremely successful person (I will not mention the name to avoid potential embarassment) about knowing and doing what God wants us to. Assuming that surely he had found his calling in life, I asked about how he went about doing that. I was shocked and disappointed when he disagreed with my intitial assumption. He even said (paraphrasing): I wonder whether I took the easy way out in life; I do wonder whether I am doing what God wants me to. If it was any consolation, I told him, to me he appeared to be doing what God wants him to. But how I would I know, anyway! I don’t even know for myself!
“That we can either submit our wills, our agency, to the Lord while remaining wholly ourselves, individuality and personality intact, or we can brave the tempest-tossed sea on our own, and surely be swallowed up whole.”
It is painful to think that God does not offer us freedom, the way we want it. It is even more painful to realize that the alternative to submitting to God isn’t freedom either. It’s domination by the devil. God and the devil are the only choices. Complain all you want, and they still will be.
Sometimes as we pray to know God’s will, he doesn’t actually have a preference. Should I wear the Pink T Shirt today, or the black one? All the agonizing in the world isn’t going to give us an answer.
And then there are the times we keep asking the question he has already answered. SHould I go to church today? Should I? Unless I get a clear feeling this morning I just won’t know what to do!
We need to use our brains that he gave us. We need to show we’ve learned from our experiences. Use the scriptures, the prophet to guide us. Use the commandments to live our lives. Use prayer and the spirit.
We need to take some responsibility.
We also need to take a more eternal view. God doesn’t prevent all disaster in our lives. So if we are trying to have a more perfect life by running everything by him just to check, we are in for a disappointment. If we do everything “perfectly” will be blame God if things don’t pan out?
God isn’t there to make sure things work out ok here in this life. He is trying to “bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” Sometimes our restaurant choice for the evening, or even our career choice for 35 years, isn’t going to affect his Plan and he does not give us specific guidance.
Hi, Ryan and Shawn – thanks for responding to my comment. I think I would agree with you, Ryan, that we need to be committed to the idea of fully submitting ourselves to God’s will first, but, in practicality, if you truly don’t know what God’s will is, how can you carry it out? I think we can follow God’s will and demonstrate our faith through our actions for things like paying our tithing, going to Church, and following the Golden Rule. After we pay our tithing and go to Church consistently, we’ll soon understand why we do these things and know that God wants us to do them.
But for big things, like marrying someone you met two months ago, or for something like Abraham’s offering of Isaac, then, I think, we’re in a grey area (How grey? Charcoal). Even after you’ve submitted yourself completely to God’s will, do you take the leap and marry someone you really like, but don’t know very well, if God isn’t giving you a clear “go ahead” signal, or if you can’t tell if it’s God giving you the signal or if the fact that you really like this person is clouding your judgment? Or do you think that if we really and truly submit to God’s will that we’ll know, in all cases, what we should do?
I’m like Shawn – I know generally what God wants me to do (get married, have a family, be nice), but it would be nice to have more specifics sometimes (i.e., you must go to Boston University, you should quit your job and volunteer at the homeless shelter, you need to get the golden retriever and not the German shepherd, etc.).
Elisabeth,
German Shepherds are better.
In the spirit of radical mormon materialism, I hereby request that m-star’s technical wizards trace the origin of comment 14. We could rewrite If You Could High to Kolob along the lines of If You Only Knew the IP Address of the Almighty’s Laptop