Some of you may have noticed that the new member of the First Presidency and the new Apostle are both follicly challenged. There are those of us who share this handicap who rejoice in the prominence of our high-foreheaded brethren. And one of the reasons is that women are lying when they say (and they always say this) that being bald does not mean you are less physically attractive.
Let me state right here for the record that I am bald. Yes, I have a huge, lustrous pate, nearly denuded, with a few stray strands of graying hair poking out like sagebrush in the desert. And let me point out that in the grand scheme of things it really doesn’t matter because I am very happily married, I have four wonderful children, a good job and everything I could ever want temporally. So this is not a “bitter bald guy” complaining that he’s gotten an unfair deal on his hair.
My point is simply this: bald people ARE less attractive than people with hair. And yet we are told all the time that it doesn’t matter whether or not we are bald. It is time for the lying to stop. Grossly fat people are less attractive than people who are not fat. And bald people are less attractive than people with hair.
Now, let me point out that an outgoing personality, being pleasant, having good manners, having an athletic build, being a spiritual person — all these things will compensate for being bald. Personally, I never found my baldness to get in the way of getting a date (when I was dating) because I made up for it with other qualities. But the vast majority of women, when looking at pictures of a man with hair and a bald man will obviously choose the man with hair as more attractive. Want proof? Go pick up any fashion magazine. When was the last time the majority of the models were bald? Yes, yes, every once in a while you’ll see one, and nobody doubts that Sean Connery and Bruce Willis (my heroes!) are sexy guys, but the reality is that the sexiest guys ALWAYS have lots of hair.
About 10 years ago, when my baldness really started becoming noticeable, I tried Rogaine. It worked like magic. Within two weeks, I started sprouting more hair. Within a month, people started commenting on my new, growing hair line. Only three problems: 1)My hands started swelling up to Shaquille O’Neal size. 2)It was expensive 3)I had an uneasy feeling that spending my disposable income on my vanity was simply not right. I felt like maybe I would end up like this guy, a drugstore cowboy roving the aisles hopped up on hair tonic.
Since then, I’ve stopped using Rogaine, and all my new hair quickly fell out. And I’ve reached a certain level of peace with my hair line.
Now, I keep my hair (the stuff that’s left above my ears) really short. I never have to comb my hair and don’t even own a brush or comb for myself. It’s nice to know I will never need to spend any money on hair products.
But what gets me is the lying, the bald-faced mendacity that women display all the time. How many times have I heard a woman say, “it doesn’t matter whether a man is bald or not?” Too many to count. I say, “Balderdash!” We all know it does matter. All things being equal, a man with hair is more attractive than a man without hair. Now, who’s willing to admit the truth? C’mon, be honest.
It’s not a handicap. It’s a “feature!”
Some day when you’re old, and the current generation of youngsters has forgotten Elder Wirthlin, you can recycle his hair jokes when you give talks.
Sorry, but I think bald guys are rather adorable…
http://mosshill.blogs.com/joannas_journal/images/baldbabyj_1.jpg
I liked what Elder Maxwell said in conference when he showed up sans hair:
Of course, blessed are the red-heads . . .
Jordan, that goes without saying (which is why Geoff ommitted the discussion in his post). Of course, are you talking about red-heads or ‘fiery’ red-heads?
From an eternal perspective, I have often wondered what is the fate of fiery red-heads who go bald? Is there yet hope for eternal salvation?!?!?!?
Why wife is a red head. She’s certainly blessed, but I’m more blessed to have found her. (AWWWWWW)
Geoff: look for a t-shirt or coffee mug (er, Postum mug, that is) that says:
“God is Good.
God is Fair.
To some he gave brains,
To others, hair.”
Take a cue from Peter Venkman — there are many subtle levels of attractiveness, most of which depend more on the person doing the rating than the actual physical characteristics of the person being rated.
For me, I prefer a full head of hair (which makes sense, biologically: baldness is on average associated with age and presumed decreased fertility, and I’m a young single female.) But I’d take all kinds of happy near-total baldness (starting with Patrick Stewart, through Andre Agassi) over wimpy “I still have wisps of hair here and there, and I won’t let go of any of it till I have to” styles (you know what I mean.) And any kind of natural baldness to toupees, greasy spray-on hair (which I blessedly thought was made up for TV comedies, until relatively recently) and so forth.
Also — to me, the typical bald male looks better than the typical bald female: probably because baldness in females (like bloodshot eyes, bruising, etc.) signals illness, which is less attractive than mere advanced age.
Bookslinger that’s a good one. I also have a shirt that I wear with my bald newborn boy that says, “Bald is Beautiful.” It is for one of us.
Didn’t God already give power to the follically challenged when he gave them the power to call bears down on those making fun of them?
I agree with Sarah. Biologically speaking, it makes sense that single, fertile women would prefer a fertile mate.
HOWEVER:
To say that women are lying when they express their personal preference is in poor taste. Baldness is NOT the same as being fat. There are different reasons for being bald as well as for being overweight. Some of those reasons leave you less attractive. Others leave the individual more attractive (for example: perhaps suffering has heightened facial prominance as well as bestowing grey hair or early baldness. Or perhaps you have a hideous double cowlick and going bald has relieved your barber of always buzzing your head). I have several uncles who are bald and several with thick, prematurely grey hair. I have to say that the ones who are bald are more attractive to me (personally) than the ones with lots of hair. I think this preference completely depends on the woman asked and also on the reason for the abundance or lack of: hair, weight, height, teeth, etc. Personal attractiveness has less to do with one physical trait than you believe.
Those women you talked of seeing pictures of bald men and hairy men and choosing hairy men? Show them pictures of bald men smiling and hairy men looking “tough” and you will find that a significant majority of women choose the smiling men as more attractive. Bald or not.
Enjoy your lack of hair and the fun you can poke at yourself and others, but don’t make the mistake of sounding petty by publically denouncing “women.” It’s not an argument worth defending.
Becca, don’t take me too seriously. I’m mostly poking fun at myself. “Bald-faced” mendacity, “balderdash.” Get it?
I remember reading somewhere that baldness was more likely at an earlier stage the higher the testosterone levels in the male concerned. If this is true then baldness would be more masculine on the chemical level and women would presumably be ‘chemically’ aware of this, even if not consciously aware of it. Women are famous for being attracted to men for reasons that men themselves find hard to fathom. Men inevitably judge the attractiveness of other men by roughly the same parameters they’d use to judge women, so hair would seem to men themselves to make other men more attractive. But women use different parameters – power, personality, and the unconscious chemical messages that we all send out and receive. On these levels, baldness could point to a chemical advantage far outweighing ‘visual’ attractiveness, which is more a male focus than a female one.
Kyle, your comments give me hope.