Learning from the hippies

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A friend of mine posted this on Facebook today, and I thought I would borrow it:

Just overheard on the “Hippie Peace Freaks” message board:
“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never got.”

Just consider how in line this is from the counsel from Elder Bednar:

When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.

In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:13–14). As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation.

Choosing NOT to be offended may be the most powerful thing you can do. It strengthens you and helps you concentrate on things that are truly important. Imagine how much better the world would be if all of the people who get offended all the time simply learned to let things go. And if we need to follow the advice of the hippies and pretend that the person who offended us has apologized, and we have accepted the apology in our hearts, so much the better.

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About Geoff B.

Geoff B graduated from Stanford University (class of 1985) and worked in journalism for several years until about 1992, when he took up his second career in telecommunications sales. He has held many callings in the Church, but his favorite calling is father and husband. Geoff is active in martial arts and loves hiking and skiing. Geoff has five children and lives in Colorado.

17 thoughts on “Learning from the hippies”

  2. D&C 64:10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.

    Peace and love, man, peace and love.

  6. In my experience this concept is utterly impossible, without Jesus. Maybe that’s why so many of God’s children fail at it – we try to do it on our own.

  7. Vader, your comment is so cryptic I don’t know if you are being sarcastic or trying to be funny, or are being serious about being disturbed about “lack of faith.” I also don’t know if the comment is aimed at the OP or some other comment. Care to elucidate?

    (Hint: it might be a good idea to assume when a brother or sister posts something on a Mormon blog quoting a GA, he or she generally has good intentions rather than bad).

  8. Christian J, agreed. This principle is literally impossible to do 100 percent of the time, but is something worth shooting for, and we need some help from the Savior if we are going to succeed at all.

  9. Reminds me of the quote from Brigham Young: “He who takes offense when offense was not intended is a fool, yet he who takes offense when offense is intended is an even greater fool for he has succumbed to the will of his adversary.” In other words, choosing not to take offense regardless of one’s intentions places us on wisdom’s path, as exemplified by the Savior. That talk from E. Bednar is one of my favorites.

  10. I kike this quote from Lincoln which expresses the same sentiment.
    “We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it.” -Abraham Lincoln

  11. Geoff B.,

    It was purely a lame attempt to be funny by combining a classic line from my namesake with hippy talk. It wasn’t directed particularly at anyone. Apologies for failing to be amusing.

  13. OK, still don’t get it. Usually, you are pretty darned funny and smart. No harm, no foul, have a great weekend, and peace and love!

  14. Wait, now I get it. Vader. “Lack of faith.” Star Wars. Sorry, must be getting old and slow. As MSNBC would say, “lean forward!”

  15. Aaron,

    One of the disadvantages of being an asthmatic-villain-American is that you can never quite be sure when the flattery is sincere.

    Um, assuming there’s such a thing as sincere flattery.

    And this, of course, is pure wishful thinking:

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