The Millennial Star

Laughter

President Faust said,

There is… a defense against adversity: humor. A thoughtful man said, “There is certainly no defence against adverse fortune which is, on the whole, so effectual as an habitual sense of humor.”

For many years as I have blessed newborn children, including my own, I have blessed them with a sense of humor. I do this with the hope that it will help guard them against being too rigid, that they will have balance in their lives, and that situations and problems and difficulties will not be overdrawn.

…Our leaders have demonstrated that one can enjoy both faith and humor. It was said of President Heber C. Kimball that he prayed and conversed with God “as one man talketh with another” (Abr. 3:11). However, “on one occasion, while offering up an earnest appeal in behalf of certain of his fellow creatures, he startled the kneeling circle by bursting into a loud laugh in the very midst of his prayer. Quickly regaining his composure and solemn address, he remarked, apologetically, ‘Lord, it makes me laugh to pray about some people.’ ”

So, armed with such good advice from our Church leaders, I give you… jokes. Feel free to add some of your favorites.

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One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books, the Bible and Darwin’s The Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, “Why are you reading both those books?” “Well,” said the orangutan, “I just wanted to know if I was my brother’s keeper or my keeper’s brother.”

Did you hear about the biologist who had twins? She baptized one and kept the other as a control.

What is the difference between a physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician? If an engineer walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he takes the bucket of water and pours it on the fire and puts it out. If a physicist walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he takes the bucket of water and pours it eloquently around the fire and lets the fire put itself out. If a mathematician walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he convinces himself there is a solution and leaves.

The last words of a chemist:

1. And now the tasting test.

2. And now shake it a bit.

3. Why is there no label on this bottle?

4. In which glass was my mineral water?

5. Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?

6. Oh, now I have spilt something…

7. First the acid, then the water…

8. And now the detonating gas problem.

9. O no, wrong beaker…

10. And now keep it constant at 24 degrees celsius, 25… 26… 27…

11. Something is wrong here…

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