Laughter

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President Faust said,

There is… a defense against adversity: humor. A thoughtful man said, “There is certainly no defence against adverse fortune which is, on the whole, so effectual as an habitual sense of humor.”

For many years as I have blessed newborn children, including my own, I have blessed them with a sense of humor. I do this with the hope that it will help guard them against being too rigid, that they will have balance in their lives, and that situations and problems and difficulties will not be overdrawn.

…Our leaders have demonstrated that one can enjoy both faith and humor. It was said of President Heber C. Kimball that he prayed and conversed with God “as one man talketh with another” (Abr. 3:11). However, “on one occasion, while offering up an earnest appeal in behalf of certain of his fellow creatures, he startled the kneeling circle by bursting into a loud laugh in the very midst of his prayer. Quickly regaining his composure and solemn address, he remarked, apologetically, ‘Lord, it makes me laugh to pray about some people.’ ”

So, armed with such good advice from our Church leaders, I give you… jokes. Feel free to add some of your favorites.

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One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books, the Bible and Darwin’s The Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, “Why are you reading both those books?” “Well,” said the orangutan, “I just wanted to know if I was my brother’s keeper or my keeper’s brother.”

Did you hear about the biologist who had twins? She baptized one and kept the other as a control.

What is the difference between a physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician? If an engineer walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he takes the bucket of water and pours it on the fire and puts it out. If a physicist walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he takes the bucket of water and pours it eloquently around the fire and lets the fire put itself out. If a mathematician walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he convinces himself there is a solution and leaves.

The last words of a chemist:

1. And now the tasting test.

2. And now shake it a bit.

3. Why is there no label on this bottle?

4. In which glass was my mineral water?

5. Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?

6. Oh, now I have spilt something…

7. First the acid, then the water…

8. And now the detonating gas problem.

9. O no, wrong beaker…

10. And now keep it constant at 24 degrees celsius, 25… 26… 27…

11. Something is wrong here…

12 thoughts on “Laughter”

  1. I love the one about Heber C. Another story I remember from his biography is that his landlady in England used to spy on him, listening as he said his prayers every night. One night, he stumbled in late after a long day of missionary work, flopped on his bed still in his clothes, said “Lord, Heber’s tired,” and promptly dozed. Great guy, that Heber C.

  2. Here are some churchy jokes that kids would enjoy. A little corny, but sometimes get a chuckle:

    Did you know that Lehi had a pet flea? He was commanded to take him family and flea into the wilderness.

    Question: How do the leaves get back on the trees in the Spring?
    Answer: The Re-leaf society.

    Question (this one’s really well known): Why did the Lamanites have bruised legs?
    Answer: Because of all the knee fights! (Nephites)

    Question: What was the name of Nephi’s horse?
    Answer: Beuntoyou. Because Nephi often said, “Woah Beauntoyou!”

  4. Jared, I hadn’t even thought about it, but you bring up a good point. I don’t know.

  6. One of my biggest weaknesses is an inability to recognize humor. I often cannot tell when other people are joking.

    Seems like it would, indeed, be a great defense against adversity.

  7. One of my callers at my former job who described himself as a wheat farmer from Kansas told me the joke. I am changing the names and scenes a little and do not remember to be honest exactly how the orignial went. Two gentlemen are seated next to each other on stools at a Diner eating breakfast and drinking orange juice(have to keep the word of wisdom even in jokes). Steve started bragging that he was personal friends with Governor Johanns of their state. Craig in disbelief challanged him to go to the legislature then in session to prove it. Governor Johanns seeing Steve greets him and said that he hoped to see him in his box seats at the next ball game. Later, they are back at the Diner and Steve boasts that he knows President George W. Bush(I will avoid editorial comments here). So once again according to challenge Steve sets out to prove that he is true to his word. On the tour of the White House they are going up stairs when out of the corner of their eye they hear Pres. George W. Bush calling out to Steve. Steve being the ever boastful person that he is later alludes to the fact that he has had several audiences with the Pope. Now, this is much to much for Craig and soon they are on a plane to the Vatican. Craig and Steve get separated. The next thing Craig knows they looking up at the balcony and Pope John Paul II has his arm around Steve. Somebody next to Craig pipes in, who is that with his arm around Steve?

  9. Shamelessly plaigiarized from the annual joke show on A Prarie Home Companion a month or so ago:

    Q: How do you get a Unitarian family to leave town?

    A: Burn a question mark on their lawn.

  10. Way back when I was at BYU I had to write a paper on comedy. What makes something funny? I remember that the conclusion I came to after doing a lot of reading (and the conclusion did not originate with me), was that most humor comes from incongruity. That is why it strikes us as funny.

    Best illustrated by a story about Charlie Chaplin. A director came to him wanting to know how to film a fat woman slipping on a banana peel. “Do I focus on the banana peel, do I focus on the woman, how do I make it funny to have her slip on the banana peel?” Chaplin said: “Focus on the woman walking, focus on the banana peel, back to the woman, back to the banana peel, then show her carefully step over the banana peel…..and fall down a manhole!”

  11. Mrs Darwin

    -Carol Ann Duffy

    7 April 1852
    Went to the Zoo
    I said to Him–
    Something about that chimpanzee over there
    reminds me of you.

  12. I’ve got two which are appropriate for this forum:

    Q: How do you tell the difference between an active Mormon versus an inactive Mormon?

    A: By the temperature of their caffeine!

    Q: What do you get when you cross a Mercedez with a Mormon?

    A: Well, a Stake President at the very least…

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