Seriously, what’s the use?
We’ve had some discussion here about the possibility that God removes principles by which the Saints are unable to abide. I’m surprised he hasn’t yet seen it fit to take away Testimony Meeting, at least from my ward. Maybe that day is coming.
At its best, Testimony Meeting can be revelatory, even pentecostal (small p). I love hearing the pure witness of someone who wishes to talk of her joy in Christ or gratitude for a miracle.
At its worst, well, you all know what I’m talking about. Anyway, this is not simply another rant about how bad testimony meeting has gotten. I have something very productive to say: I think I’ve figured out the problem.
My hypothesis: The more tightly-knit the ward, and the longer that ward has existed with most of its members, the worse the testimony meetings.
I’ve already polled over two people on 1) the quality of testimony meetings in their ward (all were rated very low), and the closeness of their ward (all were rated moderately high). Obviously, this is enough evidence to completely prove Bell’s Theory of Desirable Testimonial Distance , which I will now refer to as Bell’s Law of . . . . (BLODTD, pronounced ‘Bloated’).
Speaking broadly, bad testimony (an oxymoron, I know) is really about one thing: Self-indulgence. We’ve been well enough trained and taught that almost anyone who takes the stand knows very well what is and is not appropriate to say there. You’ve seen it happen a million times– someone gets up, mentions how they know they’re not supposed to discuss their kids’ experiences away at school, but . . .
In other words, we’re sinning against knowledge here. People don’t ramble because they don’t know better, they ramble because they’ve decided to indulge themselves. And I believe this is far more likely to happen when they’re surrounded by people they’ve known for thirty years. More people will get the in-jokes, more people might recognize the name of your son’s old girlfriend, more people will care that you used to live on Maple befor you moved to Sycamore and after you lived on Completelyirrelevant. Just as I’m less likely to paint broad autobiographical sketches for those sharing my bus home than I am for my family, people who attend a ward of longstanding close relations are much more likely to over-assume interest and patience. Sad, but true.
Anyway, I don’t want discussion complaining ad nauseum about testimonies. I’ve done that here a bit, but I’m sure you didn’t mind indulging me. We’re like family on this blog. What I’d like are tailored reports from your ward on where it sits on the above two factors.
Again, weigh in with 1) the quality of your ward’s testimony meetings and 2) the closeness of your ward (with emphasis on the longevity of the closeness, i.e., many families all together for many, many years).
Also, report on other theories of testimony meeting quality, or refute or support my own. And if BLODTD gains widespread approval, we can then discuss the solution: disbanding old-school wards, busing, ward vouchers, and charter wards.
We have to solve this problem, people. Or we might lose the privilege.