Elder Nelson and Wendy L. Watson “were married today in the Salt Lake Temple. This is the second marriage for Elder Nelson and the first for Wendy Watson.” She’s a professor at BYU, getting ready to retire in a few weeks. I’m happy for the happy couple 🙂
The Millennial Star
The logistics of “dating” a member of the Q12 must be something else. One assumes they couldn’t just go out for Indian food on a Friday night without starting rumors.
According to google, she is a longtime (never married) marital therapist. She writes books on marriage. (I think I own one of her books!) And there are all sorts of interviews with her on the topic of marriage. She speaks at women’s conference and such. Also, she’s Sheri Dew’s best friend.
some of my family know elder oaks current wife. there is an application process for dating widowed apostles. all dates are also chaperoned.
An application process? I have a hard time believing that. Between what the news release (linked from the title of the post) says about her and what Kaimi added, it’s easy to see how the two met and got to know each other without anything like an application. I’m not sure I buy the chaperoning thing either, but could see it if it was a security escort that was unrelated to two old people out and about.
1. It is virtually impossible to date, in the conventional sense of the term. The woman, if she did not know him well, would probably assume that he had received a “revelation”, and would be heartbroken if he decided she was not what he was looking for.
2. To be seen squiring various women from dinner to theater to concert would be to be tagged as a “womanizer”. Anathema.
3. Discretion is advised. But there is no application process. I would venture to suggest that Elder Nelson has received hundreds of letters (possibly even thousands) from women who would claim to have had a “revelation.”
I too have often thought about how weird it must be to date an Apostle. I am not sure I buy the application process, so I just wonder how they ask you out. And of course you can’t be like, “So, um, what do you do?” And it must be a minefield when suggesting entertainment: “Should I ask him over to watch Survivor? Does he even watch TV? Does he see PG movies?” Not to mention the initial holding of hands or kissing. I have often pondered this about Elder Oaks and his wife. I have also always been interested in what it would be like to be the second sealed wife of a formerly sealed widow. Do you ever have anxiety about what it is going to be like when you all meet up in the next life? Do you ever feel jealous?
I feel kind of bad for Sherri Dew. Having your last unmarried best friend get hitched when you are 25 must be hard, but if you are 50 something, it must make you feel very sad indeed. The next widowed apostle really needs to snatch her up. Maybe she should start getting her application ready. 🙂
Elder Nelson’s talk about observing a young married couple on a plane makes more sense now, as does his stern admonition against lewd talk between married couples. As a newlywed, I can see how sensitive he must be to these things and he must have set a high standard. He also must recently have gone through a marriage recommend interview and must be thinking about things he probably hasn’t considered since his first eternal partner died last year.
Loyd,
Some of your information seems a bit inaccurate to me, though the dates are indeed chaperoned. Lets not turn this thread into one of either reporting on or speculating on the peculiarities of dating apostles. That is less than dignified. Please give them some privacy.
Honestly, between this thread and the actuarial one it seems to me that M* is really desperate for material. You guys need to liven things up a bit here. No pun intended.
When I lived in Brazil, Elder Oaks and his wife came to our stake to speak on the importance of marriage. Elder Oaks’ first wife passed away, and he then married his current wife. The talks were both excellent and inspired, and Sister Oaks talked very happily about marrying later in life (I think she was in her 40s when she married for the first time). It is of course natural to speculate on how an apostle meets another wife and what it would be like to be married to an apostle and what it would be like to be the second sealed wife of an apostle. I am sure people speculated about those types of things in the days of Peter, James and John as well. But I agree with ARJ that such speculation should be kept dignified.
A Random John, did you know that DKL said he was you on Times and Seasons, although it may not have been the real DKL, it may have been Kaimi joking? Because nobody will tell me the truth.
So since I know David is in Boston, and a young guy, I don’t think he would know the dating habits of apostles, so I’m pretty sure he’s not you, since you do. How do you? Are you a big cheese?
I read a book by the new wife of Ronald Poelman, whose wife, I believe, died of cancer. She said he approached her. She said the dating process was necessarily different, way more discreet and he proposed fairly early on. I think her name is Ann and I think she wrote a book called The Simeon Solution. She’s a doctor and I think, a convert.
I have not heard of an application process but I know that a young lady acted as a “chaperone” for Elder and Sister Oaks. I doubt that they were required to have a chaperone. It seems to me that having one would be wise and prudent for someone in Elder Oaks’s position.
This was great news. I am very happy for Elder Nelson. And it does put a new light on his comments. It would do us all some good from time to time to reflect on “newlywedness.”
I would imagine that in such circumstances, the widower apostle probably already knew his wife in some context. Many widowers I know who remarry have known the woman they end up marrying for some time.
Thanks for the posting. I called my wife, who I knew happened to visiting some other Wendy Watson fans. The news proviked an immediate gasp of gladness.
As to the “dating” process, I think Anne Osborn Poelman writing about that in The Simeon Solution: One Woman’s Spiritual Odyssey. And I’ve heard Elder Robert Backman talk about it — he married his one-time secretary. The process sounds pretty awkward — but one of the 12 courting must be even worse.
My grandfather was not an apostle, but he had been the stake president and then the patriarch (for nearly 20 years) of the one stake in the small Arizona town where he lived. I don’t know any of the details of his “courting” of his second wife, whom he married after my grandmother died (several years before I was born).
Several months after his second wife died (when he was 75), he married a woman, a few years his junior, whom he had known for nearly 50 years. I understand that their “courtship” consisted of the following:
“_________, this is ____________. May I drop by and visit this evening?”
When he arrived, they talked for a while (I have no idea what they talked about) and then he proposed to her.
And that was it.
They married a few weeks later.
Being young in age (sub 30), I imagine that the older you get, the less emotion plays a major role during the courtship. If my wife were to pass on, I know that I wouldn’t be the playboy that I once was when I was first dating. There would be a lot more understanding and maturity in deciding who to court and how long to keep it up (either move on or make it permanent). Probably a lot more understanding of the spirit as well which probably makes things go a lot quicker.
Hopefully I won’t have to worry about it.
I’ve already chosen bill’s next wife when I die. She’s very nice and likes to cook and clean and garden and plays the piano. She will be more boring than I am, but she will be much nicer in his old age.
How weird is this? 81 yrs old and he needs to get married again after creating a beautiful family with his 1st wife??
Even stranger is the woman he married is a MARRIAGE COUNSELLOR at BYU who has NEVER BEEN MARRIED BEFORE HERSELF!
(how can you TEACH about long-lasting relationships and marriage when you have never been married….explain that one!)
I feel a little sad that she’s retiring. The accounts don’t say for certain, but I assume it’s because of the marriage, so she can travel with him? So, not only is she taking on a huge family, when she’s never had children herself, but she is also giving up her career.
Nothing weird about it, GWB. People marry for companionship.
And people teach subjects all the time without having first hand experience with the subject: The Napoleonic Wars, Astronomy and the birth of stars, Quantum Mechanics, African Geography, Atomic Fusion, etc.
It’s interesting to me that he and elder Oaks both married women who’d never been married before- is this a longer trend in GA 2nd marriage habits, or just a coincidence? I haven’t paid close attention to the church long enough to know for myself.
annegb,
That wasn’t DKL on T&S, but Kaimi posing as him, and doing a passable job of it. I also lived in Boston until recently, but am a distinct person and I have never posed as DKL and I’m unaware of him posing as me.
Sister Oaks happens to be a close family friend. If she or Elder Oaks want to divulge courtship details in public they are obviously free to do so. I don’t think that gossipy speculation are an appropriate subject matter for this forum. It certainly isn’t my place to reveal any details I happen to know and I would encourage others that happen to know them to respect their privacy.
Honestly this thread and the actuarial one should be deleted or at least closed.
Congratulations to them. I expect they will both find increased happiness.
At the same time, I must admit that some of the details are just kind of funny. Sure, you can teach universal principles of marriage even if you never have been married, but how could you write a book like this? That’s just strange.
She’s also younger than I thought too. Based on her background, I imagine she’s in her 50’s.
I wonder if Sheri is jealous.
Claro, jefe. But no was is *around* to teach those subject with “first-hand” knowledge for those subjects! Without ever experiencing marriage she teaches classes and writes books? (trying not to smile)
arJ, I’m afraid I must mostly disagree. Though a couple of comments in this thread crossed the line of decorum (that’s why it’s only “mostly” rather than totally), there is nothing highly offensive here. I posted this news because it is happy news! That people’s thoughts immediately turn to, “Hm, it would be odd to data a GA. I wonder how it’s done?” is hardly a surprise. I mean… it would be odd.
The actuarial thread I thought was quite interesting and didn’t find it the least bit inappropriate. Is death really such a thing to shun and fear?
GWB, I’m really not interested in nastiness entering this thread. We all know very little about this woman, so lets keep the criticizing out. I posted this news because it is happy news! I’m happy that two people who were alone are no longer alone.
To answer your question, GWB, some single people know a great deal more that is true about marriage than some people who are married. This partly explains why some single people get married and successfully stay married while some married people get divorced and remarry mulitple times.
Are you really GWB? I didn’t know that George W. Bush participated on these Mormon blogs.
yeah, what John Redelfs said. If all single people know nothing about relationships, then all men know nothing about women’s bodies and issues; same logic. Ergo, there should be no male gynecologists, obstetricians, etc.
I am a Marriage and Family Therapist who went through BYU’s program with Dr. Wendy Watson. To anybody who claims she couldn’t possibly know about the topics she writes about you don’t know Wendy. She is one of the finest women you will ever meet. She has blessed the lives of countless students and many many couples and families as a therapist. Anyone who has a negative comment about her simply does not know her. She has many qualities and talents that will be of great strengthen to Elder Nelson. Before becoming a MFT she was a nurse. They actually would have a lot in common. So to anyone who chooses to make negative comments. Please realize that you don’t know these two people. She is one of the finest women you would ever meet.
I think a single person can be a marriage therapist. Helping people with their marriage is actually a different talent than being married (or even happily married). Plenty of happily married people wouldn’t have a clue how to counsel people regarding their marriage. They might come up with a few helpful things, but counseling requires more expertise than “Don’t go to bed angry” and other advice that people give newlyweds.
What a wonderful event and from a brief “Google” of Dr. Watson and her writings, I couldn’t think of a more deserving soul. Congratulations and best wishes for their new eternity.
RC
My mother’s cousin is the second wife of a member of the Twelve. A couple of years ago I had the opportunity to ask her how they met and courted. They were introduced by a mutual friend. The first date was dinner with her parents at her parents’ home — she specifically mentioned that he didn’t want to be seen together in public, primarily out of consideration for her situation if the relationship didn’t work out (I can image — “Oh, yes, she’s the one who was dumped by an Apostle” 🙂
I imagine that Wendy Watson’s life study of marriage and family was perfect preparation for her marriage to an Apostle. Looking at the big picture, it surely seems that God does know everything from beginning to end.
Speculation and opinions are really unnecessary aren’t they? Oh… and divulging personal details is really crude, all you friends of friends of cousins and mothers of Apostles. It’s no wonder they have to keep their dating and relationships undercover.
Come on, everyone. Let’s have a little more respect for the Apostles of our Lord!
Many blessings to the newlyweds.
Does anybody know
Wendy Watson’s age? This would seem important, especially since Elder Nelson will be 82 in Sept. If she is in her 50’s, he could be more than 25 years older. Does anyone other than me think this is somewhat strange?
FYI, GAs are “strongly encouraged” to remarry. And to marry someone who has not been sealed to anyone else. Of course, Elder Scott is the notable exception, but most of them do as they’re “required.”
Sister Wendy Lee Watson Nelson is 55.
hey, The Lord always provides. Lonely in your 80’s? Find a gal younger than your kids.
I’m shaking my head in disgust.
Alton, I totally agree. I mean, that two lonely people can find love and companionship at their age makes me sick. How appalling. Much better that they remain alone. After all, she’s in her 50s! Clearly she is totally imature and unable to have anything in common with him.
Cool, I rarely find people that agree with me. One thing I have learned is that no amount of scripture study, fasting, prayer or family time can compensate for the loneliness felt from the loss of a spouse.
For those of you in this situation, get married. If you never had a spouse than you are probably spending a great deal of your life in lonliness. Get married.
I adore Wendy Watson and I am nothing but happy for them. Like Kevin (posting #28), I worked under Wendy Watson as a BYU Marriage & Family Therapy master’s student. She is a fabulous person and the most gifted therapist I have ever met. She is truly a spiritual giant. To turn things upside down, I have to say she is an incredible woman who can see right through people, and it would take someone as pure as an Apostle to befit her standards. It doesn’t surprise me one bit that HE is the person who is worthy of marrying HER.
Truly, I can’t think of a single negative thing about her. In her defense, I think the critiques and speculations here are totally unfair of her. There’s no doubt that he is the man for her, regardless of her age. She talks about how she had specific opportunities to marry but has received clear information from the Spirit that he was not for her (including a seemingly wonderful LDS RM she was once engaged to years ago who later chose a lifestyle opposing the Church standards…she talks openly about this in one of her publications). In response to the idea of whether she and Elder Nelson would banter over watching “Survivor” or a PG movie, it would never happen because she already lives a totally clean life free of garbage from media. And anyone who thinks that a marital therapist has to be married would be astounded at what the Spirit has taught her about marriage and what she teaches other married therapists. She is the best marriage therapist I’ve known, and I’m sure Elder Nelson is joyed to be married to a woman as spiritually and emotionally beautiful as she is.
I am so happy for them, and agree with another posting that viewed their marriage as evidence of the Lord’s hand working in their lives.
Sister Nelson may be younger than some of her stepchildren, but not nearly all. Russell Nelson Jr., the youngest, is 34.
I’m curious why someone’s mentioning an apostle’s courting by sharing dinner with a woman could be thought disrespectful.