One of the interesting results of Rusty’s recent bloggernacle survey is that 63% of respondents said that they either always had a testimony or that they gained a testimony before the age of 18.
12% always had a testimony
16.7% before the age of 12
34.3% between the ages of 13-18.
I think that some people have a tendency to doubt that true, deep conversion happens at such young ages and so I am interested in hearing the conversion experiences of those of you who gained testimonies while young.
Here is my own experience:
In many ways I feel that I have always known that the church is true. My family had always tried, though often inconsistently, to have family scripture study and home evening. My parents often discussed the gospel with us in casual conversation and the priesthood was visibly exercised in our home in the form of comparatively frequent priesthood blessings. Some of my earliest memories are of praying over lost pets (of which I had plenty) and being prompted to look for them in certain places–and finding them there.
However, I have a specific experience which I identify as my conversion:
When I was 11 years old, my father approached me one evening and said, “Jon, when you turn twelve you will have an opportunity to receive the priesthood. It would probably be a good thing if you had read the whole Book of Mormon for yourself.” My reading comprehension was good for my age–I had read J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings and The Silmarillion that same year–a fact that may have played a role in my fathers suggestion.
That was all he said, and he never, to my recollection, brought it up again–even to ask me if I had done it before or even after I was ordained. But my father’s comment left a deep impression on me and I faithfully read the Book of Mormon during the next couple of months, from start to finish.
I remember well the night I finally completed it. I had just read the last chapter and Moroni’s exhortation. It was late at night, and dark except for the desk-lamp I had duct-taped to my bed post so that I could read while my younger brother in the lower bunk slept. I knelt down in my bunk, my book in hand, and said a very simple, but sincere prayer asking the Lord if the Book of Mormon was true. He responded with a glorious manifestation of the Holy Spirit that confirmed to me that it was.
I lay down again as joy pulsed through my veins: God had answered me. I knew the Book of Mormon was true.
Though I have made many mistakes between that time and the present, I still know it is true.
J. Max,
At an initial scan of your post, I thought you were going to say that you gained a testimony while reading The Lord of the Rings. That would have been awesome.
In any case, my experience was similar. I was 13 when I suddenly “woke up†and entered a brief dark period as I realized not everything I had been taught was necessarily true. I had a deep desire to know if it really was and went into the woods not far from my house. I went hoping that God would appear to me like he did to Joseph, but it didn’t happen. But I did feel something I could never after deny.
I have always thought of myself as a freak because of my age at the time of my experience because I’ve never heard of anyone gaining a real testimony at an earlier age than I had – J. Max is now the first. Which is why I was so surprised to see there were so many who said to have had one before the age of 13.
What really surprised me was all those who said they always knew. Kurt’s story was interesting. But it still seems to me that a testimony is a specific epistemological manifestation, of which there must be one and there must be a first. Even if you never doubt, there has to be a single point at which you suddenly know. Is that not the case? Am I off base here? I too would be interested in hearing stories of those who say they always knew or knew since they were very young.
Eric, I would disagree with your theory that there must be a discrete event. That’s not how my testimony came to me. My experience was a long, incremental accretion of spiritual confidences, until one day I realized I was truly certain of the truthfulness of the restoration. This certainty began in respect to Joseph Smith, which hadn’t been a strong point for me before, and then spread somewhat quickly to the other important points of focus. I don’t think I could ever point to a single event or manifestation where my testimony was suddenly born.
My testimony probably falls in the “always knew” camp. My parents were good, and they taught me what they knew, and from a young age never distinguished their spiritual and earthly teaching: firemen and God answer calls for help; at age 5 you go to kindergarten, at 19 you go on a mission; Abraham Lincoln was born in 1809, God visited Joseph Smith in 1820; the President leads the country, Jesus leads the church.
I suspect everyone who answers “always knew” had a similar experience.
Matt,
Sweet, this is my chance to agree with you, I better take it 🙂 I had very similar experiences as Ryan and Matt. Growing up was an exercise in discovering that other people didn’t have the same beliefs as me. “What do you mean you don’t believe in eternal families?”, “Are you kidding, of course there are modern prophets” and the like. A few of those discoveries happened in junior high and high school (and I didn’t grow up in Utah). My testimony of certain points of the Gospel grew at different times, but it was never a “one day no belief, the next day I believe” situation.
I’d be in the knew-before-twelve category. I was three or four when I first got my testimony, or at least that which informs and creates the root of all other testimony. I was standing in the foyer of our stake center in Indianapolis, one evening after Sacrament meeting (this would be in the late ’60s), as all the people were coming out of the chapel and talking to one another, and I got an overwhelming feeling of “rightness”, of “shouldness”, of “goodness” that spoke to my heart and that I never forgot. When as a teen in seminary I did the obligatory Moroni 10 thing, the Spirit brought my mind and heart that very night, that very feeling, saying “You already knew. You’ve always known.” When doubts come (and doubts do come, that’s what mortality is about), I cannot deny what is at the deepest fiber and core of my being… I’ve always known that the Church is true.
Heh. That would have been awesome! I previously blogged about the profound influence Tolkien and C.S. Lewis have had on my life.
The Lord of The Rings did provide an interesting context in which I read the Book of Mormon. In many ways, the mythological themes and pseudohistory of the LOTR and the Silmarillion provided an interesting contrast to the Book of Mormon. They prepared me to read the Book of Mormon, and helped me to feel the difference between the kind of truth in Tolkien’s fiction and the truth of the Book of Mormon.
Hmm…I guess I’m in the same group – 13-14 maybe though. Growing up it just always made sense to me, I never really questioned whether it was true – of course it was! But I can remember the first instance where I did receive that sweet spirit washing over me in confirmation of its truth. I was at one of those pre-EFY things and in a testimony meeting and we were asked to write a letter of our testimony to ourselves. Yes I know a weird request, but this act allowed to me analyze the why’s of everything that felt right and opened me up to the spirit as never before. As others have said, It’s something I’ve felt over and over again in my life that carries me through the doubtful times, the fear and helps me to stay strong when others around me ridicule or don’t understand my faith.
Thanks for posting your teenage, pre-teen, and even pre-8-year old testimonies.
When I was on a mission in the 80’s, an attitude that I perceived was that many parents didn’t expect their children to get a testimony until AFTER they started their mission. It was like primary, Aaronic priesthood, the YM/YW programs and sunday school classes were all just window-dressing, make-work, and keep-busy stuff, and not intended to actually teach anything to members under the age of 18.
I’m glad to see that what I saw were the exceptions and not the rule.
I think I had different levels of a testimony as I grew up. I had believed when I was young. I never doubted what my parents taught. I think when I turned about 8 I just knew it was true. I don’t remember any experience telling me that it was, it just was. As a boy grew into a teenage boy, my life added new challenges along with a better understanding of the nuts and bolts of the gospel, but I never internalized it or based my life around it. It wasn’t until after 18 that I really understood what the gospel was all about and it became a part of me. Now my life revolves around it.
My guess is that in the future there will be greater experiences that will strengthen my testimony and will look back to this post and say, “boy, I didn’t know a thing back then!”
Or so I hope.
I’m so sorry I missed the poll!!! I always like to add my 2 cents.
I’m an “always knew.” Although, since my parents emphasized that it was important to gain my own testimony for myself, I sort of expected to eventually go through some angst and become desperate to know for sure and spend huge amounts of time studying and praying but somehow I never quite got around to going to the mountains to fast andpray for 36 hours.
At some point around 17 I remember praying and thinking about getting some sort of confirmation that the church was true (this would have been in my bedroom, and not for an extended period of time). My answer came that I already knew. And, I quickly realized that I did already know. Every single thing the church taught, I believed. My sense of right and wrong was exactly what the church taught. I had lived up to all the standards of the church…happily…because I believed in them. So it was at that point that I realized that I had a testimony, and that I had always had a testimony.
I think two things made it difficult to realize that I already knew “for sure.” These two things both go hand in hand and completely contradict each other.
1. The descriptions of “feeling the spirit” were a little confusing to me and I did not seem to feel it. I figured when I got older I’d feel something. I’ve found recognizing it gets better with practice.
2. My home was a loving home, and I was taught the gospel early and was in some ways surrounded by the spirit. The testimony was always there, the belief in God was always there, the knowledge of right and wrong was always there, I had the gift of the Holy Ghost as a constant companion…..
I always knew, as well, and I was not raised in the church. Both my parents were alcoholics. But when I heard about the church (my mother was a fifth generation Mormon), everything just made sense to me. It was more a recognizing an old friend rather than being introduced to a new one.