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Summary: Laura Delano’s life changed when she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a teenager. Even after nineteen medications across a span of fourteen years, she felt deep emotional pain. This is her story of finding deeper, and more lasting healing – along with a happiness she could not have imagined possible.
This will be different than anything I’ve ever written. My intent is very simple: to tell a story that I believe many could benefit from in our faith community.
Why? Because Laura’s story is that of many Latter-day Saint teens and young adults growing up today – or at least it could be. Her story ends differently than many people you and I have known and loved – but that’s precisely the point. While many have started a story very similar to Laura’s, they haven’t yet found her ending (which is actually a new beginning – as Laura’s story continues today hopeful and vibrant).
I believe it’s possible that many of these we love could also find a similar change…if they became aware it was even possible. That’s why I’m writing today – to highlight this woman’s experience because I believe the trajectory of her heartening account could represent a path for many other Latter-day Saints with mental health challenges to find renewed hope and healing in their own lives.
What follows combines quotes from Laura’s other videos, and my own observations of her, with a condensed adaptation of a remarkable feature piece in the New Yorker last year. I supplement this narrative with some additional references to the larger context and some clarifying comments from her directly, having worked with her on a volunteer basis for the last couple of months in her important non-profit organization, Inner Compass Initiative and their signature effort, The Withdrawal Project. As a way to make this more accessible, I have necessarily shortened many parts of the story – and encourage you to review original sources to go deeper. I’ve also embedded here a shorter, recent video of Laura providing a more personal glimpse into her experience.
My blog post on Come Follow Me: 3 Nephi 17-19 is now online.
Excerpt:”“Therefore, go ye unto your homes, and ponder upon the things which I have said, and ask of the Father, in my name, that ye may understand, and prepare your minds for the morrow, and I come unto you again” (3 Nephi 17:3).
“Jesus is giving the Nephites a temple experience. They have seen God. He gave them new power and authority, as well as a new baptism ordinance. He received them by this covenant (and soon will do so with the Sacramental bread and wine), healed their sick, invited all believers to touch his hands and feet as a witness that he is the Christ.
“Now, he wants them to go home and ponder this experience. As with the modern temple initiate, the first experience with the endowment is like drinking from a fire hose. One cannot understand it all in one sitting. We do not begin to understand Jesus’ teachings in the scriptures, from his prophets in Conference talks, the temple ordinances and covenants, or our own personal revelation, without pondering it. It is through pondering and meditating upon the things of Christ, we receive personal inspiration. God can clarify our experience, making it meaningful to us.”
Three random things occurred this week that reminded me of how history can be obscured.
We Have to Dig
Reading my Alumni magazine, “Mason Spirit”, I was delighted to read the story of Bobbi Bowman and her discovery of her ancestor’s struggle.[ref]Clark, Mary Lee, “Mason Student Featured for Her Family’s Deep History”, Mason Spirit, Summer 2020, p. 5.[/ref]
In antebellum Virginia, it was legal to buy oneself out of slavery, so long as one left the state once becoming emancipated. For fifteen years William Williamson fought for the right to remain on his farm in Virginia, to remain with his wife and children, who were owned by a man on a nearby farm. When Williamson failed, he sold himself and his farm to Thomas Rosser, a master he had chosen. This was in 1857.
Williamson died a little more than two decades later. By that time he and his family had become free because of the 1863 abolition of slavery throughout the United States. But Rosser still owned the farm the family lived on.
But Williamson’s faith in Thomas Rosser was not ill-placed. With Williamson dead, Rosser could have sold the farm to anyone. Instead, Rosser deeded the farm over to Williamson’s widow. But this epic struggle and Rosser’s integrity had been lost to time, until Bobbi Bowman happened to look through the deed records for ancestral names at the Campbell County courthouse. Ms. Bowman’s willingness to dig has blessed both her family and the family of Thomas Rosser.
Records can be Wrong
This month my mother died. The day after her passing, my sister, Lucinda, and I went to the mortuary to finalize burial arrangements and give information for the death certificate. Along the way, we indicated that another sister, Tricia, had been identified as the prospective personal representative (executor). Since the executor would need the copies of the death certifcate, we provided Tricia’s mailing address for copies.
When we got the death certificate, we saw that it lists Tricia as the informant. She wasn’t. But it caused me to reflect on the various documents I’ve looked at in my own search of history. How often was a wrong thing documented? Each error could have seemed innocent or insignificant at the time, but the accumulation of errors can sometimes lead us to entirely wrong reconstructions of history.
Fiction (Often) Takes Liberties
We have watched quite a few movies of late. In some of the fictional worlds, the entire world is created. This is the case in shows like the Star Wars universe or the Middle Earth universe, where there is nothing that indicates those universes have any connection with the real world.
Other fiction is built on the real world. The Twilight saga takes place in a contemporary version of the real world where there just happen to be vampires and individuals who can transform themselves into wolves (and where there are also separately werewolves). The Divergent trilogy takes place in a post-apocalyptic version of our world. The Hunger Games movies similarly take place in a post-apocalyptic version of our world. Grand dramatic arcs can be constructed in these variants of the real world, as many of the dramatic elements are contingent on the fantastical elements of the world the author has created.
Then there is fiction that we are told is a valid story in our world. This is where I struggle the most. Each creator in this space is trying to create a space where the viewer can escape and enjoy a rollercoaster of emotion while safely ensconced in a seat or couch.
Troop Zero is one such recent offering, touted as heart-warming. The dramatic arc of the story is quite satisfying. But in order to achieve this arc, the story significantly mis-represents history.
Take Away
I would that we would recognize that historical documents sometimes contain error. However deeply moving stories can be found by a bit of digging. If we fill our minds with popular entertainment, we risk yearning for imaginary worlds and even becoming grossly misinformed about the actual world in which we live.
My book review of “Mosiah – a brief theological introduction” by James Faulconer
Book Review: Mosiah – a Brief Theological Introduction, by James E. Faulconer
Note: this is the fifth book in a series by the Maxwell Institute covering the Book of Mormon.
Different from many other series on the Book of Mormon, this one is a primer for new students of theological studies.
Review:
James Faulconer is perhaps my favorite Latter-day Saint theologian and philosopher. He has an innate ability to take difficult concepts and lay them out in a way that makes those concepts understandable, while still engaging and stretching the reader. In his book on Mosiah, Faulconer doesn’t disappoint.
The book contains the following chapters:
Why this Structure?
Good Kings and Bad Kings: the Futility of Politics , the Necessity of the Atonement
Salvation as Creation from Nothing
Are We Not All Beggars?
God Himself Shall Come Down
Faulconer notes that there are so many things going on in the Book of Mosiah that he could only discuss a few in this introductory book. However, the concepts he shares are illuminating, bringing out key concepts from the book that are very relevant to society today.
“Whatever else we say about the theology of Mosiah, that message is at its core, as it is at the core of the Book of Mormon as a whole. The Book of Mormon comes to us promising that what was true anciently continues to be true today. God’s children are not cast off forever; they will be redeemed.
“What does it mean to read the book of Mosiah with an eye to its message of comfort and redemption? It means to read theologically.” (pg 6)
This, perhaps, is one of the best definitions of what theology (the study of God) is. We can study
the book to guess at where it happened. We can study it as literature. We can study it in a variety of ways. To study it theologically means we seek to understand God and our relationship with God.
The book begins by giving a chronological timeline of the book of Mosiah. This is important. Faulconer shows that the book of Mosiah is a fragmentary document. First of all, its first few chapters were lost along with the other 116 pages that Martin Harris misplaced. We can infer some of the things missing from the lost section: history of King Mosiah 1 and the reign of Benjamin.
The book is fragmented in other ways. While it begins with King Benjamin’s sermons, this event occurs 20 years after the story of Zeniff begins. The book jumps around from one group to the next. It can seem complicated to keep the various story lines separated. In this same way, Faulconer notes that one of the book’s points is that government and civilization is also fragmented. The Book of Mormon discusses the fragmentation of peoples throughout the book: Lehi fleeing Jerusalem, Nephi escaping the Laman, Mosiah leaving the land of Nephi, Nephite dissenters going over to the Lamanites, Gadiantons, the list goes on. It is this fragmentation or division with which both kings Benjamin and Mosiah2 are concerned. Benjamin will seek to unite his people through unity in Christ, while Mosiah2 will attempt to unify the people by also establishing the rule of judges.
However, as Faulconer notes, “Benjamin’s answer to the question of unity, the question which the book of Mosiah begins, is repentance and keeping covenant rather than a form of government.” (pg 24)
This concept is very important in today’s intense political wrangling and division (2020). The true answers for governmental and civil success are not in the policies we gain from Congress,
Parliament, or any ruler in today’s world. It comes through personal repentance and making individual and communal covenants with God. Imagine if all people everywhere would strip themselves of hubris, anger and self-righteousness, and repent. Then, as with the people of Benjamin, join together in making a covenant of unity (Mosiah 4:1-5).
Faulconer explains that this begins with Benjamin’s sermon – which is likely why Mormon placed this event prior to the story of Zeniff – in explaining just how civilization must be built and maintained.
Interestingly, he gives us a new definition of the word “nothing.” Benjamin teaches us to view our own “nothingness,” which often is confusing for modern Latter-day Saints, as we often teach that we are of infinite importance and children of loving Heavenly Parents. As Benjamin ties his speech to the Creation, Faulconer suggests that we view “nothing” from that same Creation story aspect. Unlike traditional Christianity, Latter-day Saints believe that God created the earth and universe from existing materials. These materials exist in chaotic form. Formless matter is “nothing” compared to the ordered creations of God. So, when we view ourselves as nothing, we can view ourselves as being in a chaotic, formless state, ready for God to bring us out of the void and into a holy and ordered state. Such understanding of this term ties it closer to modern Latter-day Saint views of us being children of God. We are his children, but require God to take us out of our confusion and chaos, and bring us into new life through Christ. Benjamin takes us from our personal Creation to our Fall into sin and formless chaos, and then our rebirth through Redemption through and by Jesus Christ.
Faulconer explains how faith and a view of our own nothingness leads to remission of sins, which naturally leads us to service to others, which equates to service to God. Why? Because it creates unity and civility among us. Again, governments cannot save mankind, only a turning to Christ. His discussion on this topic is fascinating and helps tie many important Book of Mormon concepts together, all leading to our personal and communal relationship with Father and Son.
Abinadi’s sermon has one of the most difficult sentences in the Book of Mormon, in that it isn’t a complete sentence, but a series of somewhat connected clauses:
“And now Abinadi said unto them: I would that ye should understand that God himself shall come down among the children of men, and shall redeem his people. And because he dwelleth in flesh he shall be called the Son of God, and having subjected the flesh to the will of the Father, being the Father and the Son— The Father, because he was conceived by the power of God; and the Son, because of the flesh; thus becoming the Father and Son—And they are one God, yea, the very Eternal Father of heaven and of earth.” (Mosiah 15:1-2)
I’ve pondered for decades on these verses, always feeling that some of its meaning was escaping me. Faulconer breaks down this confusing mess in chapter 5. In doing so, he notes the difficulties and points out the portions that are easily understandable, and which are open for possible interpretation. He offers the possibilities and shares his own views on what each clause means to him. In this, he goes into detail on how Jesus is both Father and Son, while still distinct from Heavenly Father. While many have viewed this fragmentary sentence as Trinitarian, Faulconer shows how it is uniquely Latter-day Saint teaching, bringing up the history of the Trinity, Arianism, and the restored understanding of the Godhead through modern revelation.
In his conclusion, Faulconer reemphasizes key points of the book of Mosiah:
“This fragmentary book about a fragment people is obsessed with the question of unity. How are the people of God to avoid the internal divisions that tear them apart and make them no more God’s people? The things we learn int he book of Mosiah should be read through the lens of that question about preserving the community, the church. As part of answering that questin, the book of Mosiah shows us good kings and one especially bad king, and it shows us Mosiah2’s reform of the Nephite government in response to his concern about bad kings. But it is clear that reform is not the point.” (pg 112)
Faulconer notes that the point is unity, and unity only comes through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance, receiving a remission of sins, and following Christ in service and unity with our fellow man.
I learned much about the book of Mosiah from Faulconer’s brief introduction to the book. I now will be viewing the sermons by Benjamin, Mosiah2 and Abinadi in a very different way. During this very intense political period, I’ll examine my own views, how I treat others who disagree with me politically, and know that the answer to our divisions, poverty, and disasters is not through government, but through and in Jesus Christ. Knowing my own nothingness, or chaotic form I often find myself in, I can look to being reborn and recreated in Christ.
Brother Faulconer, thanks for again bringing light and understanding to me. It has changed me, and I know any that read this book will also be changed both intellectually and spiritually.
Mosiah, a brief theological introduction by James Faulconer, is available through the Maxwell Institute: https://mi.byu.edu/brief/
