Beyond the Veil

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Pat Chiu, who has been a regular commenter here at M*, passed away this past Wednesday, September 2.

We wrote her obituary in June, when she first learned cancer had been the cause of her recent weight loss and discomfort. She insisted we document the fact that she “never managed a decent loaf of wheat bread.” We listed her profession as “artist,” but she was foremost a mother, with ten children privileged to reach mortality within the umbrella of her covenant with God.

From early June the cancer would often prevent her from eating. But it wasn’t until August 10th that she finally was unable to keep any food down. Like the child of pilgrims and pioneers that she was, she astounded us by continuing day after day thereafter, for the large part clamping her mouth shut whenever we would suggest pain medication.

All her living children traveled to visit her in her final weeks. Immediately after her passing, the daughters in the area gathered to dress her as appropriate for one who had served for decades in the temples of the Lord. We held a wake for family, under a stained glass she had created of the moments before the martyrdom.

If you have beloved parents who remain near, please take a moment and refresh or renew your connection with these who gave you life and who have done so much to form the way you interact with the world.

Pat’s final resting place is at approximately 5th East and 12th North, west of the Veterans Monument and near the Angel Garden. Condolences may be expressed at www.bergmortuary.com. As the obituary states, “In lieu of flowers, please take yourself out to dinner in memory of Pat or donate to your favorite charity.”

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About Meg Stout

Meg Stout has been an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ (of Latter-day Saints) for decades. She lives in the DC area with her husband, Bryan, and several daughters. She is an engineer by vocation and a writer by avocation. Meg is the author of Reluctant Polygamist, laying out the possibility that Joseph taught the acceptability of plural marriage but that Emma was right to assert she had been Joseph's only true wife.

9 thoughts on “Beyond the Veil”

  1. I’m so very sorry Meg. I always enjoyed your mom’s comments. I lost my own mother this year on Feb 21st, but have not been able to bring myself to write about it yet. Prayers of peace and comfort for your family.

  2. Having lost my mother just 4 weeks ago, the pain is still fresh but the overwhelming feelings of gratitude for her exemplary and selfless life will remain forever. I am sure you feel similarly. I pray the Spirit of the Lord will bring you and your family much comfort.

  3. I am sorry. I am reminded that what really matters is the micro, the personal, the close, the individual.

  4. For better or worse, my mom had suffered a disease in childhood that shouldn’t have allowed her to have children. One of those things in childhood where she was told she wouldn’t have children where the adults meant it would be irresponsible to have children. So death had always been an expected visitor.

    Also, Mom observed events when my mother-in-law passed (though that all seemed to go well as far as I was concerned). At any rate, Mom promptly went and arranged for her own funeral and burial, explaining her thought process and preferences to us. So there was relatively little we needed to do other than call and set in motion what she’d already planned. And she had enough time to finalize her will and disperse all her property.

    Given that we all must pass, she sets a relatively high standard for how to proceed with grace, preparedness, and faith.

  5. I’ve loved Pat’s insights over the years. We’ve been blessed to know her here in mortality. Christ’s love will unite us again. Condolences to you Meg, and your family.

  7. I’ve admired all of Pat C’s contributions at M*. Her comments always seemed wise, kind, and mature.

    I also never picked up on the mother/daughter relationship.

    But now I see where you (Meg) get the ability to reply kindly to the trollish comments that M* seems to attract.

  8. SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS I HAVE PAINFUL TERMINAL ADVANCED CANCER PEOPLE STUPIDLY ASK (NOT TRYING TO B STUPID) WHAT KIND O CANCER DO YOU HAVE? I SAY ALL OVER CANCER BUT ALL I TRYING TO DO IS HOLD ON 1 MORE HOLIDLY SEASON & PASS ON SOLIDLY EARLY NEXT YEAR MY ONCOLOGIST SAID I HAVE 0% CHANCE O MAKING IT TO MY 44TH BIRTHDAY IN JULY ANYWAY THANK YOU FROM SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS WHAT MY MUM WAS GOING THRU

  9. I will miss her comments, and I know she has gone to a better place and you will see her again.

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